As I near the end of this particular road, all I can think about is how GRATEFUL I am. Deeply, truly grateful for the adventure I’ve been given. And that’s exactly what’s it been. An adventure.
It’s like God knows me or something. It’s like He KNEW just the journey I needed, so He booked the tickets and settled in next to me for the ride. Or maybe (most definitely!) He’s the pilot and I was the one tucked in back, staring out the widows, doing my best to listen to His voice, scribbling words furiously all the while.
This path hasn’t always been easy, but it’s been right. I don’t know if that makes sense to you, but even in the hard stuff, I’ve known that God had a plan.
And while I’m so glad my books have found their way onto many of your bookshelves, I am overwhelmed by this very simple, very naked fact: these stories have changed me. If they never, ever touch anyone else, they were worth writing. I didn’t set out to document my own spiritual journey, but I see myself in Brielle’s fear, in Jake’s frustration. I see my loss and my ache in Marco’s struggle. But you know what else, I see victory there too. And for those who know the rocky ground I clamored across just prior to the “whole writing thing” you know–I needed these books.
And God knew that.
So I want to thank Him. But I’m so awkward at doing it in writing! Honestly, it’s SO awkward for me, that I don’t even thank God in the acknowledgements of my books. Many authors handle it all with such grace and panache, but I always feel like where my gratitude to the God of the Universe is concerned, I’m at a loss. There are just too many words to say.
Because, truly, He is my everything. My all. My reason. When I didn’t think I could write one more word, when I was lost and stuck and had left my characters stranded in dark places, there was only One who knew where the story was headed, and without Him, Jake might still be strapped to a chair. If that’s not a metaphor for my life, I don’t know what it is.
So, see? While I am honored that other people read my books, for me, the Angel Eyes trilogy has been a personal journey. And even now, as I try to pen a thank you to the One who made it all possible, I can only cry and start and stop, and I’m left with this:
Heavenly Father, I am nothing, nothing without you. Thank you for the time you spent with me in my writing cave. For taking care of my family while I was in the trenches. Thank you for compelling me to imagine what the invisible might look like. And though it’s been hard at times, thank you for knowing that I often find myself in words, and that if I’m not careful, I can lose myself there too. Thank you for never letting me go, for holding tight when I was falling, and for allowing me to experience the thrill of placing one foot after the other, for letting me climb. Thank you for the glorious mountaintops and for the lonely valleys. Thank you for gifting me with this adventure. I will never, ever be the same.