Shannon Dittemore
  • Featured Content
  • July21st

    This morning while lying in bed, listening to my children roar at one another from their separate sides of the room, God spoke.

    To me.

    He does this from time to time and I’m so very grateful.

    And humbled.

    Wanna know what He said?

    Just four little words.

    “I have a plan.”

    That’s it. That’s all He said. See, God’s not into flowery talk. He knew what I needed to hear. And these four little words completed the puzzle my mind’s been grinding away at for the past couple weeks. And while I’ve been feeling a bit distant from my hopes and dreams–distant even from Him–God knew that the hitch in my spirit has been a lack of faith. Not that I didn’t believe, but that I’m so very human and I forget.

    I forget that God has a plan. I forget that I’m part of the plan. That my life–my successes and failures–have a purpose. I get all caught up in logistics and the “how to” and the “what next,” that I neglect to sit at Christ’s feet and listen to Him, to His heart. To His plan.

    And I’ll be honest, God having a “plan” doesn’t mean life’s going to be easy.

    After all, God had a plan for Jeremiah. You remember Jeremiah? The “weeping prophet.” The guy who was called to prophecy destruction to God’s chosen nation. The guy God said this to, “Do not be terrified by them, or I will terrify you before them.” Yeah. God had a plan for Him.

    God had a plan for Job. Ah, Job. We sing about Him on Sundays. “Blessed be your name on the road marked with suffering.” Job: The guy who lost absolutely everything. The guy God allowed Satan to attack. Uh huh. Say what you will, but Job’s suffering was part of God’s plan too.

    Christians pray against plans like these in our prayer meetings.

    And while I won’t try to convince you (or myself) that my daily life includes persecution like the kind Jeremiah suffered, or Job’s brand of unearned tragedy, my spirit, dependent upon the same God they served, learns from the courage they brandished.

    There’s comfort in knowing I’m right in the thick of it. Right in the center of God’s plan and purpose for my life. It may be hard. It may not make any sense, but the minute God whispered, “I have a plan,” the pieces fell into place. The masterpiece God’s creating of me and my life is not complete, but I have this assurance: God has a plan.

    You know what’s funny? My first response to his quiet reminder was to sit up and begin to scratch out my own plan. “Okay, God,” I said, “you have a plan! Woot! So, here’s what I’m gonna need you to do.”

    Hmmm….

    You ever try to tell God what His plan should look like?

    After laughing at me (cause God likes to laugh), He brought verse after verse to remembrance.

    Matthew 6 says this about our worries: Observe how the lilies of the field grow; they do not toil nor do they spin, yet I say to you that not even Solomon in all his glory clothed himself like one of these.

    In all our anxiety, we must not toil or spin.

    Matthew 6 also says this: Seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness and all these things will be added unto you.

    God and His kingdom come first. That’s a BIG part of the plan. No wonder suffering has a place. No wonder pain and endurance have value. The plan isn’t all about me.

    And, one of my favorite verses, Philippians 4 says, “Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all comprehension, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.”

    Take your requests to God with a thankful heart. Prayer! What a novel thought!

    So, if you’re like me, and you often forget that God has a plan, I’m here to remind you, just as the Holy Spirit reminded me: God has a plan. And if you’re seeking God, if you’re aiming for Him, you’re not going to miss it. Don’t buy into that kind of lie. We serve a big, sovereign God. A God who thinks His plan is awfully important. So, stop worrying! Be of good cheer!

    God has a plan.

    And you are a part of it!

    • Share/Bookmark
  • July11th

    I’m an information junkie.

    When making a decision, I want options and I’d like to know just what they are.

    Quickly.

    In an age where computers are assumed vital, this is easily accomplished. Each morning, I fire up the thinking machine on my desk and within seconds, Fox News is dumping information into my lap. More information than a soul could possibly need. I scan the headlines while a cup of caffeinated-something-or-other keeps me chugging along just like the hard drive whirring within the plastic box at my side. The tower, it’s called. Just one of the many stops the daily news makes on its way to the nesting place between my ears.

    But, Fox News isn’t my only source of info (some of you just heaved a huge sigh of relief).

    I read ten or fifteen blogs a week; Google and I are fast-friends; there are RSS feeds that slide right into my email inbox; and Wikipedia is a frequent stop of mine. I don’t even (much) mind the oft-biased opinions threaded into the commentary spewed at me from the world at large. I’m smart enough to weed out the opinions. I’m well read. I know what I believe.

    And yet, my moderately intelligent, sponge of a brain has a limit.

    Like that line on the Bisquick Shake ‘N’ Pour container: You can keep adding water, surpass the recommended measurement. Fill it right up to the lid, in fact, and be darn proud of yourself for squeezing so much in. But, I’m not quite sure you’ll get what you’re looking for. For starters, I think you’ll have an awfully hard time getting the pancake mix and the water to successfully meld. To get full value out of your “shake,” the water and mix need a little elbow room. They need a place to dance around in. Without some empty space, you may just end up with a bloated tub of water and powder.

    But, let’s say you’ve got the Paula Dean anointing and do get that itty-bitty handful of mix to blend with the oodles of water you’ve added. My guess is you’re going to have nothing but a slew of sad, thin, little pancakes. No substance. No yum-factor. Nothing for the chocolate chips to melt into. Just wafer thin, useless carb carriers. No one’s gonna want to eat ‘em and all your effort will have been for naught.

    Often, when I’ve been on an information binge, I’m just like that pathetic Shake ‘N’ Pour container. I somehow exceed the recommended dose of global, situational, and social advisement, and there I sit: a bloated, good for nothing info-hog unable to successfully process the junk crammed into my head. These days are anxious days. Impatient ones. The cogs are hard at work trying to force too much info into the saturated sponge that has become my mind.

    At times like these, when I’ve thoroughly gorged myself, it becomes necessary to unwind a bit–make room for the new facts and opinions to dance with the old ones. But, even this is only moderately successful, and it can take days for me to return to a sane place where thinking things of substance trumps regurgitating good-for-nothing bylines.

    Advice from here. Advice from there. Tips on how to be successful. Testimonials from those who’ve failed. Tragic news stories from across the globe. Sports scores and The Fashion Police. “How-to” books and the like. While information technology can be a very liberating tool, I am finding that it can also handicap me. Too much, too quickly and I’m toast. I’m a walking sound bite–a billboard for the latest news I’ve ingested.

    And that can’t be the way God intended it.

    Perhaps it’s the difference between moderation and excess. Maybe it’s understanding the difference between the information I need and the information I want. Or it could be that while I’m craving knowledge, I should really be seeking wisdom.

    James, the brother of Christ, talks a lot about wisdom. He says this, “But the wisdom from above is first pure, then peaceable, gentle, reasonable, full of mercy and good fruits, unwavering, without hypocrisy. And the seed whose fruit is righteousness is sown in peace by those who make peace.”

    Maybe before sidling into the computer chair, I should open my Bible. Maybe filling my mind with a morning foundation of God stuff–pure, peaceable, gentle, reasonable wisdom from above–will remind me that collecting information will not make me wise.

    I’ll say it again: Collecting information will not make me wise.

    It will not make you wise.

    The only way to redeem knowledge for wisdom is to apply the lessons of the Word to our busy, info-inundated lives. And to apply the Word, we must know the Word. And we will never, ever know the Word if we are spending our day searching computers, newspapers, or televisions for more information.

    While extricating ourselves from a routine of intelligence gathering may be painful, I’m betting it pays off in dividends. I’m betting we’ll be more productive and more reasonable. We’ll be less anxious and less busy. If we swap out half the time we spend searching for meaningless information, trading it instead for time digging through the Word, I’m guessing our daily satchel of cares will be a little lighter and our heart a lot happier.

    We may know a tad less, but we’ll have a direct line to that wisdom from above.

    And that sounds like the kind of junkie I’d like to be.

    • Share/Bookmark
  • July3rd

    It’s July, friends!

    Oh, you knew that.

    Right.

    Well, I betcha didn’t know this: My new “Site of the Month” is up!

    Please help me honor Julie Williams and her debut novel, “Where Freedom Lies.”

    Julie is a fellow member of Inspire Christian Writers and a gal I’ve had the privilege to get to know over the past several months. Her highly skilled red pen has proved valuable on my own writing journey, and she has taught me that it takes the eyes and ears of many others to fine-tune a manuscript. As she continues on the road to publication, I hope you will take a minute to visit her site. I assure you, it will be time well spent.

    “Where Freedom Lies” is a Christian novel of historical fiction that has been meticulously researched and delightfully written. Julie’s characters live and breathe on the page, pulling the reader into a time long past–a time that should be both remembered and celebrated. While the Revolutionary War is simply a history lesson for most of us, Julie’s heroine, Hannah, is living it. Through her eyes we watch as truth and fiction collide, birthing a story full of charm and wit while posing some heart-searching questions.

    As we honor the birth of our great nation, take this opportunity to glimpse into Hannah’s world. Put yourself in her shoes, not far from Lexington Common where her father and twin brother head into battle. Watch as Drew, a British soldier, marches toward Lexington–toward Hannah–changing both the war and Hannah’s life in ways she could have never imagined.

    I’m telling you, friends, it’s a great read.

    Check out Julie’s website for the first two chapters of “Where Freedom Lies,” and enjoy America’s 234th birthday! May America continue to be the land of the free and the home of the brave.

    God bless!

    • Share/Bookmark
  • June24th

    I like to be entertained. I do.

    My first job–if you don’t count folding the church bulletin–was at a lazer tag facility. Birthday parties, tournaments, video games, all-nighters. One of these days, I’ll do a post on the life-altering days of marshaling lazer tag games full of sweaty grown men, shooting their hearts out while the likes of Aqua’s “Barbie Girl” fills the black light arena with techno craziness. Fun stuff.

    My second job–if you don’t count the short stint I had at a law firm during college–was at Hollywood Video where I worked my way from customer service, to management, to a Senior VP’s Executive Assistant. It was, by far, one of the best learning experiences of my life. And, I learned way more than I ever wanted to know about the management, perception, and marketing of entertainment.

    During both of these jobs, I acted, performing in such shows as “Our Town” and “The Crucible.”

    Like I said, I like to be entertained. And, apparently, I like to entertain.

    Nowadays, I write. It’s my outlet. My expression, if you will, of the creativity screaming inside me. And I maintain that imaginative characters had better find a way to puncture their soul and let ingenuity run free. Because creativity hates to be trapped. Really, it’s a monster. A viscous, life-sucking beast that will claw up your insides if you don’t find a way to let it out and play.

    My guess is that you’ve got a raging creativity monster inside of you as well. Some are smaller than others. Some are fluffy pink things who are satisfied with dissecting the intricacies of handbag construction, and some are slimy reptilian creatures sitting heavily in your gut, refusing to leave you in peace until you hand them a brush and canvas.

    I’m a fan of creativity. I’m a fan of entertainment. I’m a fan of using the gifts we’ve been given to enrich the world around us. I like amusement parks and movie theatres. I crave bookshelves and well-written stories. I enjoy fireworks displays and art shows. I’m a sucker for galleries and community playhouses.

    Yes, I’ll admit it.

    I like eye candy.

    Now, go ahead and say it.

    Come on…

    Let’s all be real.

    You like eye candy, too.

    It’s okay. I understand. Entirely.

    Disclaimer: Candy consumed in mass quantity is a bad thing. And some candy will kill both you and your creative soul. You should stop consuming that kind immediately.

    But, I deviate.

    My point is this: Creativity, and the appreciation of it, is not a bad thing, but we do not exist to be entertained.

    Can I get an “Amen”?

    The Christian community is full of creative souls, and I am incredibly grateful. There is nothing more precious than our creativity being used to worship the ultimate king of creativity, the creator Himself. We don’t exist to be entertained by Him. We exist to know Him. To worship Him. To spread His good news–that we were all wretched in our sin and that even in our spiritual deadness, Christ came and was crucified. He died taking the penalty of sin with Him and then three days later, He rose from the dead, conquering death and its hold on humanity forever. That’s why we exist. That’s it. Him.

    But oftentimes, this “entertain me” mentality rides the laces of our shoes and lands on the floor of the church. It worms its way up the legs of church-goers until what we have are pews and pews of dissident souls waiting to be entertained. And this, my friends, disturbs me.

    I like a rockin’ worship service. Skits while they pass the offering bucket are welcome. And, funny preachers can be endearing. But let me say this: Worshiping God does not require a single instrument. It doesn’t require a cool worship leader or a tattooed drummer (love you Jordan!). It doesn’t require candles in the corner, or prayer stones. To worship God the Father, you don’t need a witty preacher or a Starbucks kiosk in the foyer.

    “Then what does worship look like?” you ask.

    I give you Romans 12:1: Therefore, I urge you, brothers, in view of God’s mercy, to offer your bodies as living sacrifices, holy and pleasing to God—this is your spiritual act of worship.

    My body. A sacrifice. Holy. Pleasing to God.

    Twiddling my thumbs, waiting for the preacher to convince me to come back next week is not a sacrifice. It does not make me holy. And it does not please God. Offering ourselves up to God to be used for His purposes–that’s worship. Doing our darndest to keep ourselves pure and holy before the Lord–that’s worship.

    And the mind-boggling part is that when we’re genuinely seeking to be used by God, for His glory and not for our own… When we’re striving for a lifestyle of holiness, God often challenges us to use our creative gifts and abilities to bring honor to Him. To enrich the body. To draw others to His kingdom.

    When we choose worship over entertainment, God cracks us open and the giftings He’s placed near to our heart pour out onto others. Our creativity has an outlet. Our God is lifted high.

    When entertainment is our goal, we’re often let down. When worship is our goal, we choose humility and allow Christ to lift us up.

    It’s almost like He created it that way…

    Your creativity in the hands of the creator.

    What an amazing thing.

    • Share/Bookmark
  • June11th

    Today is the last day of kindergarten.

    Justus, my five-year-old, is incredibly nostalgic for such a young soul. We had an illuminating conversation on the way to school this morning.

    “Can you believe it, Justus?”

    “What?”

    “You made it! You’re done with kindergarten now!”

    A grin spreads like taffy across his gorgeous face. “I remember my first day.”

    “Me too,” I say, thinking back. So many new kids to befriend. New teachers. New rules. Name-tags and desks. An alphabet that snaked around the room. A carpet covered with letters and numbers. “You know, God was with you then. And He’s with you now, on your last day. How cool is that?”

    “I’m blessed,” he says, wisely.

    Tears blur my eyes. “Yes, baby. Yes, you are.”

    “Know what it reminds me of?”

    “What?” I ask.

    He doesn’t answer. Instead, my little man begins a song, his blue eyes sparkling in the sunlight.

    “Thy Word is a lamp unto my feet and a light unto my path,” he sings.

    I join in. Jaz, my one-year-old, even tries to help.

    “When I feel afraid and think I’ve lost my way.
    Still, You’re there right beside me.
    Nothing will I fear as long as You are near;
    Please be near me to the end.

    I will not forget Your love for me and yet,
    My heart forever is wandering.
    Jesus be my guide and hold me to Your side,
    And I will love you to the end.”

    We sang this old Amy Grant song (which he believes originated with Jr. Asparagus) until his sneakers hit the school-yard pavement. Then, he threw his backpack on, blew me a kiss, and ran to the playground.

    And me? I prayed.

    Thank You, Jesus, for my little man. Thank You for blessing me with him. For keeping him safe. For being right beside him when I couldn’t be. Thank you for the friends he’s made this year. For the lessons he’s learned. For a wonderful teacher. Thank You for holding him and guiding him. Thank You for his child-like faith and the relationship You’ve begun with him. And for my baby girl, I also pray. That my children will always know the safety of Your guiding hand. Every day, for the rest of their lives. That when things are hard, when they travel through valleys and dry places, I pray they would know Your ever-sustaining grace. And when they walk roads they don’t understand, let them remember this song. Let them seek You in both the darkness and the light. For your Word promises that You will be found if they seek You with their whole hearts. And, I pray, dear, sweet Jesus, that my children will love you–truly love you–to the end.

    • Share/Bookmark
  • June6th

    The Toolbox

    Posted in: Stories

    Once upon a time (cause that’s how all good stories begin) there was a man. Not a tall man. Not a short man.

    Just a man.

    Brown hair, soft like ribbons. Large eyes, black like coal. And two thin lips, invisible except when the man smiled. But when he smiled, his lips became the grinning fault-line splitting his rounded peninsula of a chin. And behind those lips he had perfectly square, perfectly white teeth.

    The man was kind.

    I knew it when he scooped me from the pile, moving aside shinier pieces. I felt gentleness in his hands that day, though his calloused fingers prodded my strength, thumped me, and checked for cracks. Finally, he held me to the light and his black eyes scrutinized my angles, my color. His jutting chin split in two, and those white squares sparkled back at me.

    “Perfect,” he said. “You’ll be perfect.”

    He closed his fist and I warmed there, just a grimy piece of glass. Strong, able. But not the best of the bunch. This I knew, but I did not care. The man, the kind man, had use for me. I nestled back and forth, feeling the crevices of his palm, feeling the bend of his knuckles. I had never been so happy.

    And then, he opened his hand and the harsh light of the hardware store struck me again.

    “So dirty,” I said, looking up at the man. “I’m sorry I’m so dirty.”

    Black eyes twinkled down at me as he placed me on the cold, metal counter.

    “I’ll take this one,” he said, to the shop owner.

    “Really? This one.”

    “Yes, this one.”

    “I have cleaner ones, Sir. Just let me show you.”

    “No, thank you. This is just the one I need.”

    The shop owner shrugged, and money changed hands.

    “She’s all yours,” the shop owner said.

    Yes, I am. Yes. I am.

    The man, the kind one, opened a toolbox. Silver. Tin, maybe. He opened it up and put me inside, carefully, cautiously. It was colder there. I’d much rather have been in his hand, but no matter. He’d chosen me. The kind man needed me. The two sides of the lid closed and as darkness consumed the box, the man’s face lingered above me, smiling. Always smiling. And then a latch was heard and things became very complicated.

    It didn’t take my eyes long to adjust to the shadowy toolbox, and eventually I found my place. Nestled in the corner, behind a suffocating rag, I made friends with a buck-toothed hammer, a sharp little chisel, and a clingy bottle of glue. We spoke of the man. Of his soft hair and black eyes. We traded stories. Of the days when each of us were chosen. How special we felt. How excited. How hopeful. And we dreamed together. Soon, very soon, the kind man would put us to use.

    After much jostling and clanging, the latch snapped open and our silver walls parted. The man’s face came into view. Kind, still kind, but absorbed in thought. He stared down at us, his fingers twitching. Oh, how I wanted to jump into them! Oh, how I desired to be useful.

    “Pick me! Pick me!” I cried, wiggling from beneath the rag.

    But, the man did not choose me. His fingers fell on the hammer. As he pulled the tool up and out of the box, my friend, the hammer, waved.

    “You’ll be next!” he said, his buckteeth whistling. “I just know it!”

    I listened to the hammer do his job, singing away in the man’s capable hands. And I waited, expectantly. But I was not next.

    A wrench was chosen. Then my pal, the glue, was torn from me. The witty chisel. A family of nails. The small can of paint. Even the rag–the rag was pulled from my side with a soft sigh of relief. Tool after tool was taken and used. Some returned after their job was completed, and some did not. I heard stories of their exploits, of the jobs they’d been given.

    What was the man building, I wondered? But, not a single tool could tell me.

    “I just did my job,” the hammer said. “I didn’t ask questions.”

    “Same here,” said the glue. “The man squeezed and I produced.”

    They tried to be gentle with me, but I could tell. They had enjoyed their time with the man. They had enjoyed being useful. And why shouldn’t they? It’s what they were created for. They were tools. Purchased for the man’s use. But, me? What was I? Nothing but a grimy piece of glass. Why had the man, the kind man, even chosen me?

    Perhaps, it had been a mistake.

    I watched my friends come and go. I tried to be happy when they shared their success, but I was disheartened. Though, once I had been selected out of many, I now sat useless, oftentimes alone. The toolbox opened and closed. I was jostled and clanged, day after day. But, I was not chosen. I was not used.

    And it was not long before I stopped trying to get the man’s attention.

    The lid would open and I’d squirm away from the light. I’d crawl out of sight. If he wasn’t going to use me, I should stop hoping. Hope hurts too much. Hours passed, and days, and even the tools seemed to forget my existence.

    And then, one day, everything changed.

    The kind man’s fingers descended into the box. I didn’t move. I didn’t expect. I just watched. As he moved the hammer aside, and the glue, as he scooched away the rag. I told myself not to hope. But, when his toothpick fingers fell upon me, I squealed with delight. This was my moment. My time. The man had use of me!

    Would I sing away like the hammer? Would I produce like the glue?

    No, I would not. The man, it seemed, had other plans for me. And they hurt. He sprayed me and scrubbed me. He used that filthy rag to clean me. He even chiseled a bit, though I cried out in pain. Surely, this man would break me. But, he did not. His brow creased with effort, his hands worked tirelessly, and though I sometimes craved the empty safety of the toolbox, the warmth of his hand comforted me.

    Had each of my friends gone through their own turmoil? Did they hurt like me? Did every tool, every piece of material, suffer for the man? For his purposes?

    The earth of the man’s face split and his smile surfaced. “It is time,” he said.

    He lifted me high above his head, and wedged my shiny yellow self tightly into a crevice. A glance around showed I was nestled next to others of my kind. Glass shapes of blue and red shone next to me. Squares and circles of white and purple, brown and orange. Where had they all come from?

    “She’s here! She’s here!” I heard them cry. “Finally!”

    The man, his ribbon hair waffling, used my pal, the glue, to secure me in place.

    “Look!” said the glue. “Look what the man has made!”

    And as the man pulled his hands away, the sun struck my back and poured through my yellow skin. I looked around at my brightly lit counterparts, each beaming, each happy to have me.

    “We’ve been waiting,” they said. “We wouldn’t have been complete without you!”

    I looked down at the hardwood floor. The floor the man had made. I looked at the rows and rows of cushioned seats. Seats the man had fashioned. I saw a stage, an altar. I saw doors and windows. I saw walls and instruments. And then I saw our colors, carried on the rays of the sun, laying like a painting across the floor. There I stood, at the top of a stained glass window. Just one small piece of glass, just one small role. But, what a view! From my rightful place, I could see. From my appointed place, I could understand.

    The man had built a church. A beautiful church. Each piece, each tool had been selected carefully. Why I’d been separated from the rest of the glass pieces, I may never know, but being in the toolbox had taught me something: Work had gone into the construction of this place. The tools, the instruments, the materials had all played a part. But, it was the kind man who had accomplished so much. He had used each of us in his own time. When he was ready. And though I questioned his choices throughout the process, no one could argue with the result.

    His completed church was a masterpiece.

    And I, a grimy faithless sliver, had use.

    • Share/Bookmark
  • June4th

    I am a huge Jane Austen fan. Pride and Prejudice, Sense and Sensibility, Mansfield Park, Persuasion.

    Ahhhhh… I get goosebumps just thinking about ‘em.

    So, when I was provided with Linore Rose Burkard’s third Regency Fiction novel to read and review, I was notably giddy. I ordered the first two novels from Amazon so that I’d be all caught up when the third arrived.

    I am happy to tell you that I fell in love with her stories.

    With a Bachelor of Arts in English Literature, Linore has put in the elbow grease and her novels show it. With a breathtaking sweep of England in the early 1800′s, her detailed writing pulls you into the story. From gown designs to architecture, Burkard has detailed settings deliciously idyllic, and in some cases appropriately forlorn. And she has done so with an expert hand. She then leaves a stage of quirky characters to keep you entertained and they do so with enchanting results.

    The three books have similarities–their cast for example, as well as overlapping story-lines and settings–but each has it own flavor. It’s own mystery. Each story has its own delightful twist. And, I turned every page with glee. I hope you will too.

    Her books have been marketed as “Inspirational Fiction for the Jane Austen Soul” and the tag-line fits perfectly. If you fell in love with Elizabeth Bennett and Mr. Darcy, you’re sure to love Ariana Forsythe and Phillip Mornay. I’ve reviewed all three books and will include the link to the first book below. So, that I do not spoil your read, I won’t post the link to my reviews of her second and third books. If you’re desperate to read the reviews, I’m sure you’re savvy enough to find them.

    You can find a ton of information about Linore and her books on her website, which happens to be my June Site of the Month. Check it out and be blessed.

    Click here to read my review of her first novel, Before the Season Ends.

    • Share/Bookmark
  • June1st

    My sixth grade teacher royally offended me once.

    Let’s call her Mrs. X.

    The bell rings for recess and my peers file out. All except me and the popular girl. I stay back to collect the papers strewn about (yeah, I was that kid), and Popular Girl stands at the teacher’s desk, reviewing a homework assignment.

    “You need to focus, young lady,” Mrs. X tells her, exasperated. “Be more like, more like… Shannon!”

    I am flattered. And mortified. Popular Girl hardly ever lets me play double-dutch with her friends. I’ll never get the invite now.

    “But, she’s soooo smart!” Popular Girl whines.

    “No!” Mrs X says sternly, slapping her hand down hard on the desk. “No, she’s not!”

    I told you she offended me. My bottom lip quivers. I drop the stack of papers and Mrs. X catches sight of me.

    She sighs. “Well, yes. Yes, she is smart. But that’s not why she does well. She does well because she listens. Because she pays attention. Because she wants to learn. That’s what I mean. Be like that. Now, go. Recess is almost over.”

    It’s a horrible cover-up, and earns me no points with Popular Girl. She cuts her eyes at me and walks out the door in her brand new jelly shoes. Still, I gather up the papers and take them to Mrs. X. She smiles her apology and I shuffle out of the classroom. I pass right by the girls playing double-dutch and make my way to the dodge ball court. Everybody’s welcome at dodge ball.

    It’s a silly little story. But, one that has stayed with me through the years. I’ve always had an interest in the way things work, always enjoyed learning new things. So, really, the teacher was right. I’m not some brainiac with the answers to life’s biggest problems. I’m just a kid in worn-out sneakers who likes to learn. That’s who I was in sixth grade and that’s who I am now.

    Though, at times, my pride takes a hit.

    It’s nice to feel superior. Nice to feel smarter than everyone around me. But, it’s not a truth. It’s not reality. And, it’s humbling when someone comes along who actually KNOWS more than I do.

    Now, I have no problem admitting that there are things I can’t do. Things I’ve never been any good at: Math, hula-hooping, ice skating, to name just a few. And it doesn’t pain me in the slightest to hand my crown off to those who excel in these areas. It’s when I feel I have a skill mastered that I get the most touchy.

    With the exception of God, my family, and my church, writing has been my chief focus of late. I spend time reading, studying the craft. I pray about it. I meet with a writing group. I write whenever I possibly can, and I take pride in the work I pump out. And when someone corrects me, when someone is brave enough to make a suggestion, I become that sixth grade girl again. My lip quivers and I’m tempted to drop the work in my hands. Tempted to run from the room, back to the dodge ball court where everyone is accepted.

    But, it’s vanity. It’s pride that drives me to that place.

    When I’m there, consumed with self-deprecating thoughts of worthlessness and failure, the words of James, the brother of Christ, bring me back to a firm foundation.

    And let endurance have its perfect result, so that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing. But if any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask of God, who gives to all generously and without reproach, and it will be given to him. –James 1:4-5

    We must endure through the things we see as trials. Through the things that cause us to question. We must ask for wisdom and we must never, ever assume we know all there is to know. We all need wisdom, and God often uses the people around us to humble and teach us. We must allow ourselves to be teachable. Learning, even the hard way, leads to growth.

    The apostle Peter is also a great inspiration to me. Read what he says:

    You younger men, likewise, be subject to your elders; and all of you, clothe yourselves with humility toward one another, for GOD IS OPPOSED TO THE PROUD, BUT GIVES GRACE TO THE HUMBLE. Therefore humble yourselves under the mighty hand of God, that He may exalt you at the proper time, casting all your anxiety on Him, because He cares for you. –1 Peter 5:6-7

    The writing industry, while unique in its own way, is like most other businesses. Everyone’s trying to get ahead. Everyone wants to come up with that one great story, the one that will speak to the masses, that will earn them kudos and back slaps. Everyone is looking for advancement. When I find myself swept up in the hysteria of the whole thing, I remind myself of Peter’s words: HUMBLE YOURSELVES under the MIGHTY HAND OF GOD, that HE may exalt you at the PROPER TIME.

    It’s all in God’s hands. We can be nothing but the Potter’s clay.

    Pliable. Teachable. Accessible.

    And when He’s ready, He will lift us up.

    At the proper time, friends.

    At the proper time.

    • Share/Bookmark
  • May17th

    So, I have a Kindle. It’s the old one–the first generation, I think. Though, in the spirit of transparency, you should know that I haven’t followed the trend closely.

    My mother, however, has. She totes her e-reader everywhere and rightfully so. She loves it. Has more books downloaded to it than the two of us could read in a decade (and that’s saying a lot). She recently upgraded to the new Kindle and gave me her old one.

    I am incredibly grateful. I’ve made some writerly friends and I’d like to read their work, but many of them are signed with e-publishers and I hate reading books off my computer. The Kindle gives me a beautiful way around that problem.

    Confession: After Mom gave it to me, the Kindle sat on my desk, in its red leather case, for three days solid before I touched it. I was flat out intimidated by the thing. There’s the Kindle itself, the case, the downloaded instruction manual, the charger, the emergency battery pack, and the Amazon.com login info. There’s an on button, a whisper-net switch, and headphones for audio books (blah). There’s the online book storage, Kindle storage, and USB storage. Not to mention the Kindle email and one-click ordering instructions.

    I just wanna read a book, people!

    But, two things kept me interested in mastering this crazy device: The e-books I’d be able to read, and the possible cash savings.

    Once I got the hang of it and packed away the unnecessary accessories, excitement kicked in. Amazon has actually created a pretty user-friendly device and I was giddy. The sheer volume of books at my finger-tips was intoxicating. I’ll never be bookless again! I jumped on Amazon and ordered a handful to get me started and began toting the Kindle with me everywhere.

    But, alas.

    I just don’t love it. I’ve yet to finish a book on the Kindle. In fact, mostly, it’s confused me.

    Normally, when I have a book to read, I’m rabid about it. I devour it. I steal time to read it, sneaking in paragraphs and chapters while I sit at t-ball games or wait for my son to climb into the car after school. I think about it when I’m making dinner or folding laundry. I all but silence my children’s cartoons so I can read in peace. I dog-ear the pages proudly. Like bread crumbs, they help me find my way back through the book for a second and third read. I don’t even mind when I drip iced tea on the pages or when my daughter mistakes a novel for a coloring book.

    These things mark the book as mine. They endear it to me. The chaos of my life gets written on the book just as the book gets engraved on my heart and mind.

    There’s something momentous about letting an author’s words into your life. It’s intimate. It’s personal. It’s mind-altering. And for the day or two it takes me to fly through the pages, a book has the potential to wedge itself into my psyche and change the way I think.

    Not every book has that power. Not every book lives up to that potential, but I never select a book without hoping. Without crossing my fingers and praying that the joint endeavor of storytelling and marketing has created something that will stay with me forever.

    And when the magic happens, I want a souvenir of our time together. I want to place it on my shelf next to the other adventures I’ve embarked on. Like a photo album, the tattered cover or spine of a book acts as a way to relive the journey without having to even open the pages.

    Just a glance at my bookshelf makes me smile. So many far off lands. So many cultures and characters. Villians and heroes. Beaches and deserts. Castles and swamps. Magic and Divinity.

    My bookshelf tells stories.

    And while that sleek little Kindle is handy, it has yet to woo me. It opens worlds to me, but it doesn’t receive mine. There’s no room for my reality to imprint on the novels hidden on its many storage devices. I can electronically bookmark pages, but I can’t dog-ear. I can download a new hardback, but I can’t run my fingers over the artwork on the cover.

    I read in fear. Fear that the batteries will die, fear that I’ll leave it on my car seat in the sunlight. And I’m downright paranoid that a dripping beverage or a crayon-weilding one-year-old will bring on the premature death of this exceptionally designed device.

    And so you know what? My insatiable appetite seems a lot more like an upset stomach. Instead of ravenous excitement at the new book sitting on the table, I’m irritated that I’ve still got a handful of books to get through on the Kindle before I can get back to my bookstore trawling, paper sniffing, dog-ear preferring, books-on-paper addiction.

    And, while I realize that this post might place me in the same category as those still pounding away on their typewriters, please don’t judge me too harshly. I’m going to keep the Kindle handy. I’m going to try to love it, but I doubt I’ll ever upgrade. The term “upgrade” is a bit of a misnomer in any case.

    Words on paper.

    Doesn’t get much better than that.

    • Share/Bookmark
  • May13th

    Until today, I knew only one thing about the stock market: If it plummets, so do my plans to visit the moon.

    (Sidebar) See, Matt and I think it would be awesome if, for our 50th wedding anniversary, we could book a condo on the moon.

    “Earth-view, please!”

    If for some reason, the condo’s not a possibility, then we’ll settle for a trip into space on one of the privately owned spaceships they’re building these days.  By 2052 this really shouldn’t be a problem.

    Unless of course, the stock market is more of a bear than a bull. See, our retirement is all tied up in stocks and such, and this brings me to the knowledge I’ve gained today about the market.

    The phrase “bulls and bears” has always confused me. I thought it was some sort of math thing which immediately throws me into a tizzy. But, today, curiosity overwhelmed me. I gave in and Googled it. And guess what. It has nothing, NOTHING, to do with math.

    According to Investopedia, there are a few theories about how the terms came into existence. Here’s one of them:

    First of all, let’s remember that bears are sluggish and bulls spirited and burly… The terms “bear” and ”bull” are thought to derive from the way in which each animal attacks its opponents. That is, a bull will thrust its horns up into the air, while a bear will swipe down. These actions were then related metaphorically to the movement of a market: if the trend was up, it was considered a bull market; if the trend was down, it was a bear market.

    Cool, huh. Now, I actually laughed a bit when I read it the first time. I mean, seriously. If a bull or bear attacks you, it doesn’t really matter HOW they do it. You’re still a goner. But, it’s just a metaphor right? So, I thought I’d steal it. And since I pin only one hope on the stock market–the moon, people, the moon–it got me thinking about Christianity.

    Funny, huh? I read “bull” and “bear” and I think church. Hmmm…

    But, seriously. Parallels can be drawn. Check this one out:

    Some of us attack life like a bull, spirited and burly. These people focus all their energy on lifting up, up, up. I like these people! They make me tired sometimes, but they encourage me. They lift me up! And then there are those of us who use every bit of our strength to shove others down. These people are miserable so they make everyone else miserable. I’m not really a fan of this population.

    There’s a bit of a problem with this metaphor. Do you see it? Yup. Me too.

    The original “bulls and bears” metaphor could relate to a single stock, but often these terms are used to describe the market as a whole (e.g., “It’s a bull market.”).

    Like the market, people have the potential to be both a bull and a bear. We all spend time as each of these metaphoric beasts. It’s not a fun thing to admit about ourselves, but it’s true.

    Some of the time, we’ve got our priorities in order. We’re preferring others above ourselves. We’re lifting our neighbors up instead of tearing them down. Some of the time, we remember the reason for our existence and we do our Creator proud.

    And then there are those other times. You know, when we’re more concerned about ourselves and our own problems than the well being of those around us.  We have things to say and we’re going to say them, regardless of the fallout. Regardless of the damage we’re bound to cause.  Maybe we’re being stretched and it’s our way of relieving the tension. Maybe we’ve held it together for so long that we feel entitled to a breakdown. Or maybe we’ve simply taken our eyes off the prize.

    Maybe we’ve forgotten that it’s not all about us.

    Maybe we’re a grumpy old bear because Christ is no longer in our cross hairs. (Imagine that! A bear with a gun!) In any case, we’ve lost sight of Him. Which means, we’re no longer aiming for Him. No longer trying to emulate Him.

    It’s no wonder we rage at others. It’s no surprise we’re jittery and unsettled. We’re focusing on the trials, on the tribulations. On the very things that should be tugging our attention back to Christ. Back to the One who is saving us, who has saved us, and who will ever be our Savior.

    So, while my use of this metaphor is intrinsically flawed, I’ll never hear the words “bull” or “bear” without wondering just which one I’m being. Like the stock market, am I trending up or am I trending down. Am I being sluggish or spirited?

    Are my eyes on Christ? Or are they on the world around me?

    If I’m being honest, my eyes drift from the prize quite often. It’s so easy to forget our purpose, so easy to hurt others in the midst of our pain. But I come with encouragement today. We can turn our eyes back to Christ at any time. When I find myself trending down, the chorus of this old song inspires me. I hope it does the same for you.

    Turn your eyes upon Jesus,
    Look full in His wonderful face,
    And the things of earth will grow strangely dim,
    In the light of His glory and grace.
    –Turn Your Eyes Upon Jesus, by Helen H. Lemmel.

    • Share/Bookmark