Shannon Dittemore
  • Things My Kids Teach Me
  • August10th

    6 Comments

    Two years ago, I was very, very busy… recovering.

    My second pregnancy wasn’t an easy one. The ultrasound had spawned some concerns and filled the remaining twenty-odd weeks with anxiety. But, that morning, two years ago today, my beautiful baby girl made a spectacularly normal entrance into the world and was perfection itself.

    Ten fingers. Ten toes. Beautifully bright eyes that ate up the world around her. Nothing had come of the anomalies we’d seen on the ultrasound, and my husband and I were overwhelmed with relief.

    And while that day joined my wedding day and the birth of our firstborn as one of the happiest days of my life, I’m reminded not only of the start of Jazlyn’s young life, but of everything that these past two years have brought.

    In two years, our little family has grown from three, rather busy individuals, to four.

    In two years, I’ve gone from a legal consulting company to full-time homemaker.

    In two years, we’ve gone from spending much of our time with the church’s teenagers, to spending much of our time with the church’s young families.

    Two years have brought two Disneyland trips, two beach camp-outs, two visits to the Northwest, two speeding tickets, two fix-it tickets, two cell phone tickets, one fender bender, and one new car.

    These two years have seen me gain friends and lose them.

    In two years, our son has grown almost six inches, graduated from both preschool and kindergarten, hit his first baseball, sported his first mo hawk, read his first chapter book, done his first flip into the swimming pool, narrated his first school play, memorized all sixty-six books of the Bible, and ridden his first roller-coaster.

    In two years, our daughter has nearly mastered the art of sleeping through the night, has scaled every counter, door, and piece of furniture in the house, has become rather loquacious for such a young sprite, memorized each and every theme song to the shows on Nick Jr., and learned to kiss with her mouth closed (a feat we all thoroughly appreciate).

    In two years, we’ve upgraded from a two-bedroom/one bath to a four-bedroom/two bath.

    In two years, we’ve moved one kid out of diapers and another into them.

    Two years ago, my nearly-four-year-old left behind the title of only child and took on the role of big brother.

    And two years ago, as I cradled his restless, newborn sister to my chest, I decided that I would, at last, write a book. I walked, and rocked, and thought and thought and thought. And that night, an idea took root that refused to dry and shrivel in the desert of crazy that often surrounds me. I was consumed. Within months, the first draft of a novel was written.

    In two years, I’ve written and rewritten this first novel of mine seven times (at least).

    In two years, I’ve been introduced to critique groups and query letters. I’ve read more books than most, and I’ve learned something valuable from each and every one of them.

    In two years, I’ve gone from an unfocused, inconsistent journaller to an everyday writer.

    In two years, I’ve gone from a chic with an idea, to a chic with an agent ready to help sell that idea.

    I’ve been introduced to blogging and the monster of self-promotion.

    I’ve been coerced into tweeting and status updating.

    The past two years have been the most challenging two years of my life, and today, I can honestly say, that they have also been the most rewarding.

    I’m blessed to have a husband who supports my need to write. I am honored to have in my care two of God’s most precious gifts–incredible children who enrich my life more than they’ll ever know. And I am remarkably fortunate to live near my parents and sisters.

    As summer starts to wind down and fall begins, I am very aware that the seasons are changing again for me. And, I couldn’t be more pleased. As the leaves change and drop to the ground, I’m looking forward to shedding things that have died in my life and making room for the new. I look forward to harvest and growth. I understand that this next season will be full of sweat and hard work, but I’m ready.

    The past two years have tried me. The past two years have beaten and bloodied me. The past two years have secured a support system around me. They’ve brought more joy than I would have thought possible, and a strange brand of pain as well. But I know God has a plan. And, I’m ready.

    So, to my baby girl who turned two-years-old today–Happy Birthday, and please, please stay in bed tonight.

    And to my friends and readers–Goodnight. May you find peace in the season you find yourself in and strength for the road ahead.

    God bless.

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  • June11th

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    Today is the last day of kindergarten.

    Justus, my five-year-old, is incredibly nostalgic for such a young soul. We had an illuminating conversation on the way to school this morning.

    “Can you believe it, Justus?”

    “What?”

    “You made it! You’re done with kindergarten now!”

    A grin spreads like taffy across his gorgeous face. “I remember my first day.”

    “Me too,” I say, thinking back. So many new kids to befriend. New teachers. New rules. Name-tags and desks. An alphabet that snaked around the room. A carpet covered with letters and numbers. “You know, God was with you then. And He’s with you now, on your last day. How cool is that?”

    “I’m blessed,” he says, wisely.

    Tears blur my eyes. “Yes, baby. Yes, you are.”

    “Know what it reminds me of?”

    “What?” I ask.

    He doesn’t answer. Instead, my little man begins a song, his blue eyes sparkling in the sunlight.

    “Thy Word is a lamp unto my feet and a light unto my path,” he sings.

    I join in. Jaz, my one-year-old, even tries to help.

    “When I feel afraid and think I’ve lost my way.
    Still, You’re there right beside me.
    Nothing will I fear as long as You are near;
    Please be near me to the end.

    I will not forget Your love for me and yet,
    My heart forever is wandering.
    Jesus be my guide and hold me to Your side,
    And I will love you to the end.”

    We sang this old Amy Grant song (which he believes originated with Jr. Asparagus) until his sneakers hit the school-yard pavement. Then, he threw his backpack on, blew me a kiss, and ran to the playground.

    And me? I prayed.

    Thank You, Jesus, for my little man. Thank You for blessing me with him. For keeping him safe. For being right beside him when I couldn’t be. Thank you for the friends he’s made this year. For the lessons he’s learned. For a wonderful teacher. Thank You for holding him and guiding him. Thank You for his child-like faith and the relationship You’ve begun with him. And for my baby girl, I also pray. That my children will always know the safety of Your guiding hand. Every day, for the rest of their lives. That when things are hard, when they travel through valleys and dry places, I pray they would know Your ever-sustaining grace. And when they walk roads they don’t understand, let them remember this song. Let them seek You in both the darkness and the light. For your Word promises that You will be found if they seek You with their whole hearts. And, I pray, dear, sweet Jesus, that my children will love you–truly love you–to the end.

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  • May6th

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    Mankind is selfish. It’s in our very nature.

    And this is how I know: My son, Justus, cheats at marbles.

    I didn’t teach him to cheat. His Dad didn’t teach him to cheat. He understands that the game has rules. He knows cheating is wrong. But man! He just wants that shiny green marble so much!

    “It was kinda on the line, Mom. I didn’t nudge it, really!”

    Ahem.

    Of course, the Bible has some things to say on the subject as well. Take Romans 7:18 for example:

    “For I know that nothing good dwells in me, that is, in my flesh; for the willing is present in me, but the doing of the good is not.”

    The willing is present in me, but the doing of good is not. That’s intense!

    Think of Adam and Eve. They get a bad rap, but really, the first truly selfish act is seen in the Garden of Eden. God tells this naked couple to steer clear of a single tree. ONE STINKING TREE! And what do they do? They eat of it. Eve first and then her husband, Adam. Of course, the snake was there. A little temptation. A little deception. Adam blames Eve. Eve blames the snake.

    But, blame can only be shifted so far. The Bible tells us in James that “each one is tempted when he is carried away and enticed by his own lust.” So, Adam and Eve, the first humans to walk the face of the earth, were, at one time, sinless. But, according to Scripture, it was their own lust, their own desire that carried them into sin.

    God says, “Do not eat of the tree. Don’t even touch it. Or you will die.”

    The snake says, “You’re not going to die! In fact, eat that shiny apple and you will be like God!”

    The minute we believe the lie, the very second we give credence to our own selfish desires, we’re in trouble. Only complete denial of our flesh can keep us from sin. It’s only by walking in the Spirit that our selfish nature can be overcome. But how do we do that? How can we walk in the Spirit? It is only through Christ and Christ alone that such a feat can be achieved. Read Galatians 2:20:

    “I have been crucified with Christ; and it is no longer I who live, but Christ lives in me; and the life which I now live in the flesh I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave Himself up for me.”

    We must die to ourselves. When our own selfish desires dance before our eyes, when they fly in the face of the Creator’s commands, we must resist. James 4:7 says,

    “Submit therefore to God. Resist the Devil and he will flee from you.”

    I’ve noticed that Justus has a harder time cheating when he’s looking me in the face. It’s when his greedy little eyes are on the shiny marble that I have cause for concern. When his eyes are on me, he remembers just why we’re playing. He remembers that it’s our time together that’s important. Not the marble.

    In the same way, we must keep our eyes on the Creator. We must remember just why we’re living this life. When we take our eyes off Him–when we let our own desires dictate our focus–we’re sure to screw up. It’s in our nature. Our sinful, selfish nature. We must choose Christ, everyday. Every decision. And just why should we do that? Why should we care more about His purpose for our life than the shiny marble we can reach out and grab? The answer’s right there in Galatians 2:20.

    When you’re tempted to lie, cheat, steal… When that ripe, luscious apple is within your reach… Turn your attention to Christ. Crucify your flesh. Submit your will to the Creator’s. Remember it is no longer you living, but Christ in you.

    Because He loves you. Because He gave Himself for you.

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  • March26th

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    I have to brag. My five-year-old is a fantastic reader. Fantastic. In fact, his kindergarten class is going to be performing “The Three Piggy Opera” and Justus has landed the coveted role of “Narrator.” To prepare, we’ve been reading tons and tons of books.

    Oh, alright, that’s just an excuse. We’d read tons and tons of books anyway. We practically live in the children’s section of our local Barnes and Noble. In case you mistake my tone, I say that proudly.

    This morning, we were finishing off one of “The Magic Tree House Books” (which I highly recommend, by the way). In this particular chapter book, “Afternoon on the Amazon,” Jack and Annie are being chased by a rather persistent monkey. At one point, the monkey claps his hands together and screeches with laughter. As he swung away from the siblings, Justus interrupted the narrative.

    “I can see it! Mom, I can see it all in my mind.”

    He jumped off the couch and reenacted the scene. He scratched his pits and banged his chest. He “oo-oo’d” and “ee-ee’d.” He clapped his hands and pantomimed swinging away. If Justus is a fantastic reader, he’s a downright perfect monkey!

    His enthusiasm got me thinking and the mere recollection of his declaration, “I can see it!” evokes all sorts of emotions.

    Oh, how we need child-like faith!

    We need to emerge from our fig tree–from our time alone with God–with the kind of faith that says,

    “I’ve read it, Father, and I CAN SEE IT! You know that part, Jesus, the part where you fed the thousands with five loaves and two fish? I can see it! And that time, Lord, where you came to Peter walking on the water, the storm tossing and turning, the little boat thrashing about. I can actually see it! And what about that last night Lord? The last time you dined with your friends? Do you remember? Well, today, as I read it again, I could see it. I could see the pain on your face as you identified the one who would betray you. I could see the disbelief on Peter’s face when confronted with the truth that he’d deny you. I could see the love you had for each of them. The pain you felt at their impending loss. The love you still have for humanity.

    As I read your Word, it came to life, and I could see it!

    And then, Jesus, as you withdrew into the Garden to pray–as you submitted yourself to the will of the Father–I could see it. I saw the sweat, like blood, running down your face, falling to the ground. I saw your despair–your resolve–as one of your own betrayed you with a kiss. I saw you, The Prince of Peace, taken into custody. I watched as evil men lashed out, angry. I saw the self-awareness of your own humility as they turned you over to be beaten. I saw the Roman’s face as he washed his hands of the matter, as he released a murderer in your place, and your own people cried out for your crucifixion.

    I saw the cross upon your back. The crown of thorns cutting into your skin. I watched as they nailed you to that tree–your hands and feet pierced for their sins. For mine. I watched as the thief begged for mercy. I saw the pain on your face, the forgiveness you extended even then.

    And I cried.

    For the first time in a long time, Jesus, I understood that these weren’t just verses to be read. This was your life. Is your life. This is you, here in my hands, in the form of a book. Your life. Your death. Your resurrection recorded so that I could understand. You are the Word become flesh, and today, Jesus, I can see it.”

    These are the types of declarations I want to come back to. I want to dig into the Scriptures craving to see the world as Christ saw it–As He still sees it. I want to read because I’m hungry for the truth buried between the pages. I want to cry because it moves me.

    But mostly, I want to jump off the couch and reenact all that His Word shows me. Not like my son. Not in a theatrical way. But, I want to love just as He loves. I want to enact that. I want to pray just as He prays. I want to forgive just as He forgives. I want to be the Christian–the Christ-follower–that I was created to be.

    He’s shown me how. He’s given me the guidebook. I want to open its pages, not because I have to, but because today, like every other day, I need to see it. I need to know just how it’s done. Just how He did it.

    I need to see it so I can do it too.

    For the heart of this people is waxed gross, and their ears are dull of hearing, and their eyes have they closed; lest they should see with their eyes, and hear with their ears, and understand with their heart, and should be converted, and I should heal them–Acts 28:27

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  • February18th

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    My son is out of school this week for winter break. And what a winter break it has been! The sun is out, kids are playing football in the court, and even the air conditioner got a brief workout. Yesterday, I took the kids to the park so that we could pretend spring had arrived. And by the way, if you’re in the area and haven’t been to the little park at Maidu, I must recommend it! It’s awesome. Trains, saloons, and a quaint little jail are just a few of the fixtures completing the Wild West motif.

    There’s also a child-sized maze built to look a bit like an old fort. Embedded into the ground below the wooden maze are the paw-prints of various animals: a fox, a badger, a deer, and a bobcat. A sign challenges the children to identify the prints. As I chased Jaz around the park, Justus and a friend attempted to conquer the maze. Their five-year-old minds had concluded that if they followed the animal prints, surely the ghosts of animals past would lead them to the exit. After several minutes, my frustrated son hollers at me,

    “Mom! Help!”

    The animal prints, it turns out, are not a reliable form of navigation. As the two boy-geniuses followed the prints, they ran into wall after wall. Time and again, they found themselves trapped–the only possibility, to retread the footsteps that had led them to failure.

    “Which way, Mom?” Justus asked. “Which way do we go?”

    I told you he was a genius! See, the maze is child-sized and I have not been child-sized for some time. My considerable height (ha!) allows me to see every path option at once. With just a glance, I know which paths lead to obstacles and dead-ends. I even know which path leads out of the maze. So, after a few misunderstood directions, Justus and his friend make their way to the exit, and their cheesy grins show all the parents at the park just how proud they are to have made it.

    The book of Proverbs says this: “There is a way which seems right to a man, but its end is the way of death.”

    I’ve been stewing on this Proverb quite a bit lately. It’s hard not to when I see friends walking into decisions that seem so completely right and yet their foundation is not the Word of God. When I put myself in their shoes, I see the perceived wisdom of their choices, but I cringe when I find that their methods do not line up with God’s. I, of course, am not immune to this behavior. In my life alone I could point to countless examples of times when I thought I knew best, when I was convinced that the path I was on was the right path. In the end, I found myself lost, with nowhere to go but back the way I’d come. Like Justus, it took me several tries before I thought to ask for help. Before I looked up and cried, “Father, which way do I go?”

    You know, that Proverb is actually recorded twice in the Scriptures–word for word. Someone wanted us to really think about its words. To consider the possibility that the direction we’re heading–while seeming to make a ton of sense–may just lead us to death. With these thoughts in mind, I challenge you to turn your face to the heavens. Maybe you’re staring a monumental decision in the face and know you need help, or maybe you’ve tried one path after another only to beat frustrated fists against dead-ends. Regardless, there’s only one place to go when you’re lost. There’s only one God with the perspective to see all paths from beginning to end. He’s just waiting for us to stop following the scattered footprints and look to Him for answers.

    It’s tough, though, isn’t it? That pride thing gets in the way. We don’t want to be wrong. We hate to admit the possibility of it, and yet, I must remind you of one other verse, found in Matthew.

    “Enter through the narrow gate; for the gate is wide and the way is broad that leads to destruction, and there are many who enter through it.”

    We’re looking for a narrow gate, friends. The odds aren’t good that you’ll stumble across it alone. We all need Christ. He is the narrow gate. The way, the truth, and the life. If we’re to avoid destruction, we must enter through Him.

    Join me will you.

    It’s a narrow road, but there’s always room for one more.

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  • January27th

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    Jazlyn is a climber. She’s my seventeen-month-old dare-devil. My fearless little monster would attempt Everest if you stuck her in front of it. She’ll tackle anything, especially if I’m distracted with–I don’t know–this blog for example.

    Her absolute favorite obstacle to mount is the dining room table. In an attempt to eliminate those easy-access footholds, we try to keep the chairs shoved as far under the table as possible, but she’s resourceful, and occasionally makes it to the very top. Her goal, of course, changes depending on which of us was at the table last. If it was her big brother, she’s usually reaching for the left over goldfish growing stale on his plate. If it was me, she’s foaming at the mouth to pound away on the laptop keyboard, and if her dad was the last person to use the dining room table, then Jazlyn is most certainly diving for the haphazard collection of ink pens he’s left there. Occasionally, two or three of us leave things strewn across the table, and the creations she comes up with, given a handful of left-over remnants, would put MacGyver to shame.

    So, the other day, as usual, she had made it to the very top (without a signed permission slip, Nana, I promise!). When I caught her, she was stabbing her brother’s left over hot dog slices with one of my husband’s rogue ink pens, and jamming the cold dogs into her mouth with fervor.

    “Jazlyn!” I hollared, crossing the room. “Get down from there!”

    Of course, I was smiling. It’s awfully hard to be mad at an adorable one-year-old, especially when she’s far braver than I am.

    She smiled back. But, I was serious. I couldn’t let her fall! What kind of a mother would I be?

    “Get. Down. Jaz,” I said firmly, now just feet away. And, by the way, my one-year-old is brilliant. She knows just what I’m saying. Before I can get there to grab her, she giggles, drops the pen-dog combo, and begins her hasty descent. This is where things went a bit awry. My laptop happened to be sitting in the chair. Bummer. Her pudgy little foot applied just enough weight to make the laptop’s sleek skin slide right off the lacquered chair. Faster than I could move, she landed, BAM!, right on her diapered bum. Thank God for Huggies!

    Her big blue eyes filled with tears, and as I moved toward her at the speed of light, she raised her baby-soft arms to me. My failure to prevent this fall, dented my heart and I pulled her little body tight to my chest. We mourned together for several minutes before she wormed out of my arms, ready to try again.

    If this isn’t a picture of my spiritual life, I don’t know what is! So many times, I’ve climbed and climbed and climbed, finally making it successfully into God’s presence. After a little fun at the top, I’m ready to hop back down, back to everyday life. Like Jaz, that’s when things usually go wrong for me. The trip down is a hard one. Back to life, back to reality–with just a taste of what God has. If I had the strength to just keep climbing! Or the tenacity to stay where I was for a bit longer! If I had had the patience to wait on God to grab hold of me, just what would happen? In 2 Corinthians 3:18, Paul talks about being transformed into the image of Christ.

    But we all, with unveiled face, beholding as in a mirror the glory of the Lord, are being transformed into the same image from glory to glory…

    I’m learning, as I get older, that we must stay in God’s presence, either pressing forward or patiently waiting for Him to move us from one place of glory to another. It’s when we get hasty and seek to escape His presence that we fall.

    But, no. I get all independent and think a little time up top is all I need. I’ll be back, I tell myself, Next Sunday, maybe. The problem with that philosophy is this: The next time I crawl back into His presence, ready for a little fun, I’m nowhere closer to His image than I was on my first ascent. Again, bummer.

    I’ve been thinking a lot about change. Change in my life. Change in my family. I want my life to be flush with seasons of pressing in and seasons of patience. Both are difficult to master and I’ll need God’s help to get there. But what I would really like to eliminate are those seasons of hasty impatience. The times I think I can dabble in the presence of God and just return when it’s convenient. I’m tired of falling. I’m tired of failing. And yet, even in those times, Christ is more than enough. He scoops me into His arms and holds me tight. He lets me worship Him through my tears of frustration and pain. And when I wiggle free, ready to try again, I’m sure He’s shaking His head and smiling at me. I bet he’s hoping I’ll wait for Him when I get to the top this time. I bet he wants to transform me from all the “glory” that I currently am (ha!), into the glory that He has for me.

    And honestly, that sounds so much better than landing on my rump!

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  • January24th

    6 Comments

    Funny story…

    The other day, my kindergartner came home from school with something clutched tightly in his hand.

    “What’s that, Justus?” I asked.

    “Makiah gave it to me,” he said, opening his fist. “It’s her heart.”

    Sure enough, there it was. A sparkly, pink, plastic heart. A strange thing for my Chuck-Liddell-look-a-like to be carrying around. Of course, I thought it was cute. A little girl gave her heart to my baby boy. Suppressing all those, “oh my gosh, he’s growing up” kind of thoughts, I smiled, wondering just how long it would take Justus to destroy or flush Makiah’s precious heart down the toilet. Doing my best to be a good, cautious parent I told him he really shouldn’t take other people’s toys, to which he pouted and said,

    “But she WANTS me to have it.”

    Who was I to argue?

    A few days went by and the heart kept turning up around the house, often in the mouth of my one-year-old. This didn’t please Justus as he’d been trying to keep it safe in his treasure chest. One-year-olds don’t understand the sanctity of a boy’s treasure chest, so Justus took to keeping it in his jacket pocket where he could guard it more carefully. About a week later, as he was climbing into the car after school, I had another interesting conversation with my boy.

    “Look what I got,” he said, waving a dinky orange motorcycle, “Makiah gave it to me.”

    “Justus!” I huffed. “I told you not to take any more of her toys.”

    “Don’t worry, Mom,” he said, “I gave Makiah back her heart. The motorcycle is wayyy cooler.”

    In truth, I was a bit heartbroken. I could just imagine poor little Makiah, devastated because her heart had been traded for a motorcycle, of all things. Stupid testosterone! I didn’t want Justus to know I was siding with Makiah and the heart, so I just said,

    “What did Makiah say?”

    “Nothing,” Justus said with a shrug. “She turned around and gave her heart to Ethan.”

    Hmmmmm…..

    It’s funny what children teach us. As I drove home, I thought about how we–as teens, as adults–trade our heart away for the age-appropriate equivalent of an orange motorcycle. Something (or someone) shiny comes along and we’re so easily persuaded to trade away our emotions, our values, and our very heart just to possess it (or them). If only we were as resilient as kids! We could simply take our heart right back, incredulous at the lack of care it’d been shown. But it doesn’t usually work that way, does it? It’s hard to take back something that valuable, even if it’s being mistreated. Even if the person you gave it to would rather move on to something shinier.

    God didn’t create our hearts to be passed around or traded away. They’re meant to be committed, to be loved. Hearts are to be cherished–by us and by those we give them to. So be careful, friends, what you do with that heart of yours. Keep it safe. Guard it well. ‘Cause whether it’s given away of its own free-will, or stolen right from your chest, you may not get it back!

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